


Chocolate Milk

by vermontghost



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Drunk On Hypnotic Chocolate Milk, F/F, Fluff, Jo Grant Is Definitely Completely Straight, Panicked responses, Sarah Jane Smith - Freeform, This is crack, Three is tired of the pining, doctor who - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vermontghost/pseuds/vermontghost
Summary: Sarah gay panicking leads to strange conclusions about the true nature of chocolate milk.
Relationships: Jo Grant/Sarah Jane Smith
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Chocolate Milk

“What are you doing here?”

The room was painted a hazy peach. It was spare, except for the bed, covered in a soft-looking yellow blanket, and a table, complete with a fountain pen and light blue ink stained across letter paper. The foundations were scratched by the notable trace of a vacuum cleaner aggressively shoved in every corner. 

And, of course, there was Jo Grant sitting against the wall and the cold hardwood floor. 

Sarah had wandered the halls, looking for something to evaporate the boredom and heaviness that came with an uneventful UNIT day. She had found a room marked with an index card and carefully written letters -  _ Do Not Enter.  _ This is where she found herself - in the doorway of a storage room-turned-bedroom, trying to understand why her breath was caught in her chest. 

“My house is occupied by angry aliens, and the Brigadier found this place and offered I stay here,” Jo responded, and patted the ground next to her. 

Sarah stood there for a moment longer than she should have, and the prospect of being close to Jo was simultaneously anxiety-inducing and warm. She sat down and tried not to think about the brush of their shoulders. Tried not to think about how  _ straight _ Jo was. She’d learned her lesson in high school, crushing on straight girls would lead to nothing but pain.  _ Stupid, _ she told herself,  _ you thought you could mold your affections to avoid heartbreak.  _ Well, there was nothing to do but blatantly ignore the warmth that spread over her, ignore the seemingly irresistible temptation to gaze at her lips. 

“-the Sea Devils again - Sarah?”

She snapped back to reality. “Nice.” 

“Sarah, I was talking about how none of us have any idea where the doctor is.”

“Ah. Definitely not nice.” 

Jo looked at her. “What’s wrong? You seem a bit… funny.” 

Absolutely nothing was wrong. Everything was fine. 

“I uh, drank too much chocolate milk.” 

Chocolate milk? What?

Jo seemed skeptical, and she panicked.

“Well, i’ve often thought… that chocolate milk has... hypnotic properties. If - if you drink too much, you may find yourself uh, intoxicated.” 

Jo was worried, because she scratched the back of her hand - Sarah knew she was always worried when she did that. Another small detail that she tried to erase from her mind.

“That’s frightening, considering I drank two cartons an hour ago.” 

“Do you have any symptoms of drunkenness? Um, dilated pupils? Shortness of breath?”

“Heartbeat increased a little.” 

Sarah stared at Jo’s pupils and found that they were, in fact, dilated. Had she been drunk, or were there actually hypnotic properties in chocolate milk?

And if so, was Captain Yates okay, because he drank more cartons of it than a sugar-deprived eight year old?

Or - perhaps this was the aliens’ fault?

She realized she had been staring at Jo’s eyes for way longer than was permitted in heterosexual conduct, except, of course, for  ophthalmologists. 

There was no way Jo believed her efforts to make the chocolate milk drunkenness seem believable, Sarah told herself. 

Jo believed all of it, and was quite scared because she was known to do stupid things when she was drunk. She had an unexplainable urge to kiss Sarah, and therefore she completely believed chocolate milk made people delusional. 

So she grabbed Sarah by the giant lapels of her shirt, and kissed her. 

Meanwhile, in the UNIT kitchen, the Doctor put away the dried alcoholic powder he’d found in a planet near Mondas - too close to the Cybermen for comfort. he took away the remaining drugged chocolate milk that he’d placed in the cafeteria. 

Two rooms away, Captain Yates was making out with a cactus.


End file.
